


Changing Protocol

by Spooberdem



Series: Science Bros. 2.0 [2]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Gen, Peter is a Little Shit, Sokovia, but i wanted to get this out, but read on if you want, i think the first fic was better, i'm sorry if its terrible im so tired, kinda crack fic I guess, memes and vines galore, quality over quantity I guess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-03
Updated: 2018-07-03
Packaged: 2019-06-01 14:13:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,173
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15144866
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Spooberdem/pseuds/Spooberdem
Summary: Peter gets back at Tony for the 'baby monitor' protocol. Meme references included.Rated T for language only.





	Changing Protocol

**Author's Note:**

> Picks up after 'The Most Stressful Car Ride In Tony's Life'. Shuri isn't featured as much in this one, I'm sorry, but if there is a continuation of this weird little series I promise she'll be in it.
> 
> (Based off of this tumblr post: http://airagorncharda.tumblr.com/post/174523964671/taylortut-taylortut-peter-retaliating)
> 
> All grammatical and/or spelling errors are my own.
> 
> Enjoy!
> 
> Bonus: Spot the Supernatural line!

‘’Baby monitor protocol,’’ Peter muttered, fingers tapping over the computer keys. ‘Suuure, Mr. Stark.’

Shuri and T’Challa had flown back to Wakanda the day before, but she had given Peter one gift before she left: A code to hack into parts of Tony’s computer systems. Now, it was Peter’s turn for revenge.

One of the few and rare downsides to being around Tony Stark was his smart-ass nature. The ‘baby monitor’ and ‘training wheels’ protocols were a small but embarrassing taste of Tony’s personality, and Peter was tired of being put down all the time. Plugging the USB with Shuri’s code into his laptop, he got to work trying to hack into Friday’s voice protocols. Peter had hacked into his own suit before, so cutting into an AI shouldn’t have been too hard, right?

Eleven hours, fifty minutes, and three cups of coffee later, Peter finally managed to access Friday’s coding. A few keyboard taps and mouse clicks, and he was into the systems Friday managed for Mr. Stark’s Iron Man suit.

Peter knew better than to tamper with the systems themselves, but surely renaming them wouldn’t hurt. He selected a protocol at random. ‘’Emergency Thrusters Failure?’’ he read aloud to himself. ‘I’m gonna call it… ‘I’ve Fallen And I Can’t Get Up.’

He quickly typed in the new title, saved it, then moved on to rename other systems before Mr. Stark found out. 

 

FOUR DAYS LATER…

 

Tony stood perched on the ruins of an apartment building. Cold, wet snow was falling in a silent blanket around him, but his metal suit kept him from freezing. Unfortunately, his ability to see through the storm was less than adequate. 

Coming back to the remains of Sokovia hadn’t been his favorite plan, but if any alien tech had come through the fallout intact, he needed to know. He was aiming for the old Hydra base, but with the rubble that had dropped from the sky in random places, and the snow, Tony couldn’t really tell where the fortress had once stood. He finally spotted a broken structure on a hill that vaguely resembled the place. ‘Friday, zoom in on that building,’ he ordered.  
‘Okay boss, initiating ‘Old Man Bifocals’ protocol.’ Friday replied. Tony froze. Then, slowly, ‘Run that by me again?’  
‘Initiating ‘Old Man Bifocals’ protocol,’ she repeated. ‘What the actual fuck,’ Tony muttered. He’d figure it out later. Right now was the recon. Snapping back to reality, Tony ordered Friday to perform a full scan of the building and what it contained. She did this task without any weird protocol names. Maybe it was a glitch? A very, very odd glitch.  
‘Completing scan,’ Friday announced. ‘Sublevel floors of the structure appear to contain vibranium and several unidentifiable, possibly alien substances.’  
‘Okay, thanks.’ Tony activated his flying thrusters and set out towards the building. Touching down by what used to be the main archway, he brushed the snow off a fallen plaque, the words inscribed in Sokovian. ‘Friday, translate this please.’  
‘Activating ‘I’m Jared I’m nineteen and I never fucking learned how to read’ protocol.’

What the hell? This definitely wasn’t a glitch. Someone had been renaming his protocols. ‘Accidents don’t just happen accidentally,’ Tony said to himself under his breath. Friday confirmed that this was the Hydra base, so Tony walked past the arch and into the ruined building.

Most of the upper levels contained nothing of salvageable use: smashed computers that Tony remembered had been wiped, a few guns, some frozen dead bodies that were stinking up the place. Striding past them as quickly as possible, he found the hidden corridor that had led to the lab with the Leviathan corpse. Half of the cavern was caved in with rock, but the open half still held lots of equipment, most of it useable. 

Tony walked over to the nearest table, which held several semi –finished robotic creature a that bore a large resemblance to a dog. They looked deactivated, but when he picked one up with a metal gloved hand the creature’s ‘jaws’ ratcheted open and grabbed his arm in a death grip. Tony tried to blast it away with his other arm, but another creature on the table locked onto that one too, eyes glowing red.

Clearly these things weren’t Ultrons, otherwise they’d be talking. No, they were some other primitive experiment, left here as decoys, guard dogs. Guard dogs that had a rather painful hold on his limb that Tony could feel through the suit. Seeing as his repulsor arms were knackered, this called for more desperate measures. ‘Friday, activate emergency weapons systems!’ he called out.  
‘Initiating ‘Bitch you thought’ protocols.’

Tony groaned. He would really have to sort out this weird name problem once he got back to the compound. For now, extra repulsors slid out from beneath his shoulder panels and shot the robot dogs to pieces. Unfortunately, the force of the blasts ruptured some of the rock on the other side of the cave, and the stone ceiling began to shift and crack. Tony activated his flying systems and flew back up the tunnel as the cavern collapsed.

 

LATER…

 

Back at the compound, Tony scrolled through Friday’s suit programming. Sure enough, someone had gone through his systems and changed the names of almost all of his protocols. ‘Friday, list system editors from the last week.’ He commanded. ‘Anthony Edward Stark, five days ago,’ Friday listed. Then, ‘Unregistered editor, four days ago.’

Unregistered? That would mean that someone hacked his system. ‘Editing location?’ Tony asked.  
‘Signal traces to Avengers compound, sir,’ Friday reported. There were only two other people who resided at the compound now: Vision and Peter. Vision wouldn’t – would he? Vis hadn’t really struck Tony as the pranking type, but then again, he was part Jarvis, and Jarvis had been a little shit sometimes.

But as far as Tony knew, the protocol names had been references to memes or some shit, and he knew Vision didn’t look at those. So that left Peter. He seemed the more likely culprit, since Tony knew Peter still chafed at the whole ‘baby monitor protocol’ thing. This was probably his form of revenge. Grinning, Tony inputted a few commands to compound’s automated systems, then reached for the intercom mic.

Peter had seen the Quinjet land back at the compound a while earlier, but he’d decided to wait to confront Mr. Stark, in case he locked himself in his lab to research or experiment. Nearly an hour later, Peter decided he couldn’t wait any longer. He got up from his bed and pulled on the door to open it, but it wouldn’t budge.  
‘Nuh uh uh,’ came Mr. Stark’s voice over the PA. ‘You’re grounded, young man. After that stunt you pulled? That was childish. You stay there until dinner.’ Just then, Friday chimed in, ‘The ‘baby gate’ protocol prohibits you from exiting this room, Mr. Parker.’ Sliding to the floor with his back to the wall, Peter dragged a hand over his face. It had been worth a try, at least.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and constructive criticism are welcome. Thanks for reading! ;)
> 
> PS: The Supernatural reference was 'Accidents don't just happen accidentally', if anyone actually tried to look for it
> 
> PPS: I'm trying to decide the theme of the next fic in this series, so Disneyland or Star Wars? Tell me in the comments!
> 
> PPPS: Okay, I'm just too impatient to write something, but only one person answered the question, so Star Wars it is! Stay tuned for Star Wars: Attack of the Geeks! :)
> 
> EDIT: Okay, I want to thank all of you for the comments and kudos. I didn't expect this crappy 1.1k fic to get more than three thousand hits, so thank you for supporting and reading my work!


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